my livejournal is now up and running...so i wll say goodybe to you xanga goodbye

www.livejournal.com/users/explictdyke

(mood) confused and depressed

my life seems like i have everything a wonderful girlfriend and a family who cares but do they really? dose anyone really give a fuck at all?  people say ive changed..why dont u hang out anymore? why dont u this why dont u that whisper...well ill tell you why  i have changed i am a differnt person then i was at the beinging of summer...summer is almost over im gonna be done with school soo soon and i just feel like its time to grow up... i dont dress like i used to...im not a gangster im not anything anyone in this pathetic town trys to be..im actually going somewhere with my life..maybe not far but it will be somewhere trust me...i just feel like im loosing grip on the friends i used to have but u kno what i feel like people need to see me for me...i honestly dont care about drugs anymore most of my friends just think that chronic or meth or drinking is cool..its not im done with all of that shit...,yes i smoke bud sometimes very RARE do i smoke bud...or have the urge to...one thing about any drugs or any thing its not gonna get me thru life nore towards anything i wanna become or strive for.

i keep all my feelings inside it sometimes makes me sick inside...cause i cant even tell my girlfriend somethings...and yes things have changed i do have a girlfriend and without her who would i be..ive lost friends because of her..but u kno somethen...if u cant respect her you cant respect me and werent a true friend in the first place...im tired of these disrespectful people you kno i hate disrespect its the worst thing to me...siggghhhhhhh....i just feel like no one has ever taken the time to get to kno me get to know who i am before the judge me or just plain out disrescpet me god wont someone send me a sign i swear the only problem i have sometimes is breathing

(mood) sad cause amanda had to leave

GOOD MORING XANGA!!!!!!!!! i havent wrote in here in awhile have i...well nothing to much has been going on in my world...looking for a new job mostly...i think i might be starting at jack n the box here soon got an interview on monday...pray i do...money money MONEY lol...i wanna move out by the end of january.......things that have brighted my day lately are

gettin the ashlee simpson cd COURTSEY OF SARA

holding amanda all thru the night =)

going to see the kick ass band SCHOOLYARD HEROS..(on my backgroud and the song playing)

cotton candy dipndots

and yeah thats about all

OH YEAH AND I WENT SHOPPING FINALLY! i got new shoes and a hat and bennie and shirts and these cute piggy boxers with a ducky keychain that i gave amanda

everytime im with amanda i cant help but smile because i kno that we are right for eachother..maybe im crazy but i dunno...what can i say...ive been bitten by the lovebug

(mood) starts with an H and ends with a Y take a guess maybe you will kno

alright soo its been a minute since i wrote up in here...soo yeah sunday i didnt do much juss chilled at the waterfront with some people hanging out n shit..watched kevin kick this guys ass it was hella funny haha kevin was socken him in his dome peice and this fool didnt get up afterwards me and amanda took kevin up to emrald highets and juss listend to some kmk it was boring after that soo me and amanda went back to my house and watched some tv or soemthen i dont really member..monday me and amanda died are hair and actually i bleched myne ima blech it one more time to make it white...gotta be a soldier that shit burns ur head like a motherfucker!!!! yeah amanda couldnt sleep monday night soo we went to sharis at 4 in the moring and then i jacked some nyquil from safeway cause who is tryen to pay 10dollers for that shit not me..hell no not me so yeah then we came back and passed out cause u kno us we took more then ur suppose to lol...then yesterday amanda was haven a freak out or soemthen and we started to argue i guess but not really..then she said somethen that upset me and i just started talking about how her life isnt that bad you kno...i mean look at me ive stopped all drugs excpet chroinc which isnt very often that i smoke. and then i have to face the fact that my mother is dyen right n front of my eyes it hurts you kno it hurts hella bad...and i started to cry and she just told me she isnt gonna go anywhere which im glad she isnt. cause honestly i do love her it is soo nice to have someone u can count on and love and have them love you back..*sighs* 

but today she is kicken it with heather..and ima go running in about 10mins since i havent in awhile..and then ima take a shower and juss chill intill amanda calls cause i dunno what she is doing for the rest of the day/night....and yesterday i drove up to mels but her bitch ass wasnt home...wtf...oh well but yeah im outro PEACE

(mood) barely awake

so lemme tell every one about my weekend!!!

friday...friday i went to get my glasses there ok i guess not the best ones out there but there alright..amanda thinks they make me look cute. heh..we went down to the waterfront and kicked it with hella people. like always you kno. i seen kevin lol. this fool was like you guys wanna go smoke..and i was like alright lets go ill drive soo i drove up to ehights and we smoked...and then we came back and we all kicked it some more or whatever then i seen deeh! awww i love deeh i called her over to me to give me a hug...cause i kno becca and lisa hate me for some reason but its all good im not holding anything to them...but i gave deeh a big hug and then i walked back over to sit with my baby and the fireworks came and me and chuck were sayen how they look like boobs lol. i watched the fireworks in my babys arms heh...it was a good day all an all.

saturday...i woke up around 1 and amanda had plans with nicole...so they went to whaling days it was soo hot in my casa that i sprayed the hosse up in the air and got my mom it was hella funnie i didnt do shit intill about 6 when ms.jade called me i was like wtf is up! she was intown for a week and it was her last night here..soo she called me cause she finally found my number and i went up to jp and seen her for about 3hrs intill about 9 then i came home and took a shower and amanda called me and was like ima come over soo she did and we layed and watched the assainant cause that bitch from ftj is on there and we like to laugh at her..

sunday TODAY im going down to the waterfront to spend the day with amanda and hopefully ill get to see my buddy cerena! heh..and we will kick it and i will get cotton candy and blah blah blah...soo yeah ima go hop in the shower now bitchessssssss

ONE LOVE whisper